I have been reading through all the comments and posts in the area of a spouse with MCI. It’s nice to know I am not alone. My husband is 76 and just isn’t the guy he used to be. We still go out, see friends, and do things but it’s not the same anymore. If we are at trivia (which we have gone to at a local place for literally years) when it is over he is irritated if we don’t leave right away. We go with friends for the socializing, the food, the fun. It’s gotten so it’s really not fun, I try to say “just a few more minutes” and he is quite obviously unhappy and appears bored or disinterested. We tried playing cards at a senior center, something we both like to do. He was so “rub your face in it” when he won a game another player actually asked him why he has to act like that. His answer “ because I can”.
At home he spends his day in a chair watching the news channels and reading his iPad. He will do nothing around the house. I have to repeatedly ask “did you…”. Then he gets angry and jumps up waving his arms saying “I’ll get right on it”. Most of the time it’s a reminder of something he said he was going to do, and didn’t. He is capable of helping out but doesn’t until I get angry. I have RA and need help with some things. He knows this and can be caring with words, but rarely with actions. Asking him or reminding him of anything results in what I call his martyr personality. He hears everything as a giant criticism or an intrusion on his day of sitting in front of the tv and gets angry. It’s getting so I hardly bring up anything except light comments about unimportant things. I have started to mostly sit in another room. Then I feel guilty because he spends his day alone with his iPad and tv. I can only listen to news stations these days for brief amounts of time. The hashing and rehashing of current issues and happenings is just disheartening and serves no real purpose to my mind. Yet he sits there. He has no hobbies, no man friends. I do have friends, I teach one day a week, I like to get out shopping, socializing. He never wants to come with me. Yet, anything he might see offered he would like to attend it’s always we have to go, or do it, together. I know I am just venting. What is, is. It is just hard. He used to be neatly dressed, always sociable….the life of the party. Now if he goes that route it’s with mostly with inappropriate comments, dress, or actions. It’s just hard. I am so glad there is a place to let it all out!