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Dealing with a Spouse with a “Mild Cognitive Impairment”
Caregivers: Dementia | Last Active: 3 hours ago | Replies (339)Comment receiving replies
I appreciated your comments about sharing this challenge with friends. On top of everything else, I have felt very hurt by comments by three close friends who displayed a real lack of empathy/compassion bordering on distain/disgust because my husband tends to repeat some of his favorite stories. We are talking about occasional encounters and stories of a few minutes duration. The reaction says more about them and their fears but it still hurts. I now avoid these folks. They know the diagnosis. I would never say such an unkind remark, especially to the spouse/carer. I am in the process of trying to make some friends who are kinder and more understanding, as I said in the beginning - on top of everything else.
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I hear you! So called friends who diminish our daily mind bending experiences. And then they tease or just cut off the friendship with our loved ones “weirdness “ as they put it is heartbreaking.
I try very hard to not discuss our situation with anyone that is not walking their own battles. Its just safer emotionally. Yes it does make me very very lonely.
Even my daughter does not want to hear my frustrations because she would like me to get a divorce and says I'm choosing this path.
Best to you all, i pray for each person i read about. Hugs
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Unfortunately, if you haven't experienced caring for someone with dementia, you just don't understand. My husband was originally diagnosed in 2003. I find by venting to my friends is not a good idea. They end up not liking him and occasionally say hurtful things about him. Yes, I complain about him but I am allowed because I love him. So I stopped sharing things about him. Now, I have no way of venting. I have tried therapists but don't feel they really understand what I am going through. Yesterday I found this group. They have given me more help in one day then I have received in the past 20+ years. Even my children (grown adults) don't understand. Dad looks fine to them. He is active and is still functioning physically. What's the big deal? But he can no longer reminisce about much of anything in our lives. It really isn't the lack of memory that upsets me. It is lack of being able to process, reason and make simple decisions. But he has good days. Then I start believing he is okay and it is all in my head. But he is not okay and soon he will show me that I was in denial. I just need to accept the good days and enjoy them.