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Post-Intensive Care Syndrome (PICS) - Let's talk
Intensive Care (ICU) | Last Active: May 22 3:02pm | Replies (598)Comment receiving replies
@muriel66 Thank you for your beautiful messages. I have read the messages you sent already many times...they carry so much meaning because I feel that you understand things that few others do. Last night, I read what you had written yesterday out loud to my husband. When I turned to look at him after I had finished, I saw that he had a tear running down his face. He said, "I have not known how to help you." We both feel such gratitude for your kindness in reaching out to me to give me hope for the road ahead.
I have just started seeing a professional counselor (today was my first appointment). I was very grateful that she talked to me about the process of grieving. I think she will be a good fit as a counselor, and I will be looking forward to our future appointments.
I am also grateful for your insight on spiritual healing. The depression I have been facing since mid November has made it difficult for me to feel God's spirit in the same way that I used to. I used to regularly seek God's guidance for what I could do for others. I held a leadership position in my church (I supervised all of the children's sunday school and activities). I was released from this calling just after I came home from the hospital and I have had a hard time understanding where I fit in now. I am no longer one of the people in charge, and that has been a major adjustment for me. I used to be the one who served others, then over the last year I have become the one being served. I so appreciate your insight into the very personal experience of spiritual growth, healing, and joy. I think in the busyness of my former church life, I may have been missing some of the spiritual power that perhaps I can access now, in my quieter life. I also look forward to having a "treasure hunt" with God to try to understand the purpose of my new life.
I am holding fast to the quote you sent: "The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain." I have hope that someday I will feel peace and joy in the places that now feel hollow and sad. The important thing is...thanks to your incredibly insightful messages...I have HOPE.
Thank you. Your words have meant more than you will ever know.
Amanda
Replies to "@muriel66 Thank you for your beautiful messages. I have read the messages you sent already many..."
@amandacgrow I am so happy that you were able to connect in such an amazing way with @muriel66 . You are both not only helping one another, but are helping so many people who will see these messages. @muriel66 mentioned mindfulness and living in the moment. I wanted to share a very timely post that was made on the Health and Mindfulness Connect page by Dr. Benzo @robertopbe. I found it quite inspiring:
https://connect.mayoclinic.org/page/mindfulness-in-health/newsfeed/ikigai-meaning-in-life-and-survival/
@amandacgrow
Hi, Amanda. It is good news that you found a counselor who recognized that grieving is part of your experience.
Tonight I acknowledge another similarity between your story and mine. Perhaps you remember that my experience of severe septic shock necessitated my immediate retirement from employment. Like you, I also served others and sought God's guidance in doing so. Such faith-filled service not only ended suddenly, but also it meant that I would not return to a beloved congregation, which was a distance from my home.
There is hope. My husband and I connected with a congregation closer to our home. As my recovery advanced after the second experience of septic shock, in prayer I asked God for a new way to serve, keeping in mind that I could not extend the amount of energy that I previously expended. One recent day I was in the midst of a conversation when it was revealed that there was a need for a Sunday school teacher. I immediately volunteered. Serving with the children is wonderful. Preparing each lesson is fun. The children are appreciative. I am joyful... and thankful.
"A thousand ages in thy sight are like an evening gone; short as the watch that ends the night, before the rising sun." wrote Isaac Watts in a hymn that makes reference to Psalm 90, verse 4. Two and a half years passed before I was called in a new way, one that matched my ability and energy level. Two and a half years might sound like a long time to wait for a call; but according to God's timing, it is just the passing of a night.
It can be difficult to no longer be the person in charge. If you are hurting from the reality that you were released from your position, may it be for you that God and counseling heals the hurt. Because you are a person of full faith, there will be revealed to you a new way to serve... and it will be placed before you when your healing is full. And, it will give you joy. I pray this for you.
Thank you for listening, Amanda. I also need to talk... to reflect. May you rest well each night.
Muriel
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@amandacgrow Hi, Amanda. I hope to respond (finally) later on Sunday, tomorrow. I continue to think of you. Muriel