@amandacgrow I am attaching the following link that discusses the emotional aftermath of critical illness in a bit more detail. First and very importantly - you are not alone. I have heard many people who have experienced critical illness echo exactly what you are sharing. When you look so well on the outside, people will automatically assume that you are completely recovered. And then the pressure builds on you to play that part, right? Which can very easily feed right back in to more mental anguish.

Often times physical recovery happens much more quickly because we can SEE that you are sick, hurt, weak, etc. so we aggressively address that. But we can't SEE that same exact suffering that you experience emotionally and mentally so the treatment and interventions often lag behind. I am going to be working on tagging others on this forum that can help share their insights, as well as provide you with other links/discussions/sites that might be of some help.
https://connect.mayoclinic.org/page/pics/newsfeed/breaking-it-down-post-intensive-care-syndrome-and-recovery-emotions/