I have a couple thoughts to throw in, @nicolerose30. First of all, I am extremely sorry you are in this exhausting position of trying to sort this all out. While I relate to quite a bit of what you describe I also see super helpful responses from wonderful Connect members commenting to help you through this process. You are not alone, and you can do this!

With this, I want to address a couple items you mentioned that have not been discussed yet:

- Is your problem stress or something wrong? My encouragement is this…your decision to pursue improving your quality of life does not hinge on figuring out the answer to this question. It just may be both. Stress causes physical problems, physical problems cause stress, it all becomes a big huge cycle of ugliness.

Part of my care at Mayo Clinic has been a book recommendation addressing this very dilemma. The read helped me understand the various type of anxiety disorders so I could figure out where I fit (and didn’t), then some practical steps as to what to do about it. Digging out of my deep, isolating hole to make progress would require confidence of knowing I did have health problems and understanding I would need control the stress that came along with it. I am happy to share more about this book if you are interested.

- Did I sleep last night? It sure felt like I was awake. This will sound silly but a huge stressor relieved…my husband and I set up our cuckoo clock to play its goofy song every hour on the hour, yes all night long. There were times I was awake, but there were many I woke up realizing I must have slept because I never heard the darn thing. That in itself was a destressor, and it helped me figure out one more thing in my puzzle. By now I have trained myself to know the difference, which of course helps me help my doctors as well. We did a similar thing after a doctor told me my arm was asleep when I woke up during the night only because I had simply rolled over on it for a bit. My husband stacked pillows around me that would get dented if pressure was put on them. It didn’t help the doctor believe me but it helped my confidence, and I pinned down one more physical symptom that eventually became more significant.

I want to encourage you to move forward, one step at a time. Just do the next, best thing and you will make progress.

You mention having a doctors appointment this week, maybe already. If there is one thing you want to walk away making sure your doctor knows (and you are ok sharing), what would that be? Do you have someone walking through this process with you?