I can understand the contrast in how each of us has a different core to our beliefs. After a marriage that fell apart after 33 years, ovarian cancer decided to re-visit as endometrioid cancer. Finding anything positive as things were redirecting my life would have had a negative influence on my well-being, and it was obvious I'd have to find a way to keep things in check to avoid adding depression to the whole mess. My GP knew all I had been through (was also watching a parent's health fade and ultimate death, too) and he offered to have me speak to a counselor. Unfortunately, the counselor advised me to start journaling about the "dark places." After sitting for over an hour with a blank page the next day, unable to write anything, a friend called to check on me. THAT call changed my wellness journey. I started writing. First I wrote a page about that particular friend and how grateful to God I was that my path crossed with this friend who held me up through so many challenges in my life. For the next several weeks, I wrote about the people who "came out of the woodwork" to help with so many different things while I went through the divorce, the cancer, the household move, and the ultimate death of my father. I realized God is in the people who cross my path and the community of people who stand with me as God provides "opportunities" to see the good in others. He sends us "left turns" in life, yet often, we can see His love and grace in those who may stand with us for a moment or for the entire journey. What I'm trying to explain (maybe not so well), is you will define the challenges you have, and He will be defined in how you see Him or allow him to send you the people, the hope and the tools to continue on your journey. Cancer isn't a place to "camp out." You are on a journey that can be defined by what you can squeeze out of what time you have remaining. If you feel lost on the journey, just as you are doing here, reach out. People can be there for you, so don't be afraid to ask THEM for help and then see God in their support and actions. Does that make sense...? May you find peace in your journey...