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← Return to Double Knee Replacement
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Ouch, how do you plan to handle this? Will you be his primary caregiver, and are you ready for it? Can you recruit someone else to talk to him - primary, friend, sibling? Finally, if he is still employed, what is going to happen if he won't rehab, has complications, and cannot return to work?
You need to talk frankly to him, with the help of a counselor if necessary, about how the approach to his surgery and recovery is his choice, but it will affect both of you, including possibly your finances and retirement plans.
I just watched a neighbor spend over five years caring for a non-compliant partner, giving up her peak earning years. Now she is worrying about how to mange her own retirement with reduced retirement income and assts.
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Thanks Sue. Luckily, he retired in Jan. His healthcare will be an issue and I suspect he will walk the path as his mom and grandmother did. If they didnt like it, or the outcome, pain, they never had any further surgeries, procedures, to the extent his mother passed from an MI because she wanted an inhaler for her breathing difficulties. She refused a cardiac evaluation. I have tried to use his 2 & 4 yr old granddaughters as a reason to put the effort in to maintain/optimize his health…to no avail. I was trying hard to help him get everything optimized, but, I am/have given up. I can only do so much and I wont be bashful if he cannot move himself around…I cannot lift him. As I learned with parents with dementia, adults have the right to refuse. He hasnt made it to get his yearly labs…from March. I told him he isnt building much confidence with any health professional that he will follow a plan of care. Thanks for listening