When my father was diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder, 40+ years into the marriage with my mother (and many separations), he told her that he "would not be on a shrink's couch for the rest of his life." He left my mom, screwed her out of alimony, married a woman he had been seeing (and dated in the 1960's) and that was that. My mother was so distraught I had to commit her. The damage is done to everyone. Like my alcoholism, everyone was affected (in recovery now). I developed an empathy for my dad. He was not born a narcissist. He had a very narcissistic mother and I know that when he was around 2 years old, she had post-partum depression and received shock therapy. His father was in the FBI and not around so he was shuffled around during that time of his life. In other words, it is not okay to be tolerate the way a narcissists treats a person, but I had to remember that he was not always that person. He has since passed away and I was with him when he died. My sibling, on the other hand, did not speak to him after the divorce. It is complicated stuff. I really suggest watching Dr. Ramani's video's on YouTube. Taking care of oneself is really all I can do. I can't change anyone else and like others have said, the NPD usually can't or won't see inside or take any blame.