It seems you are afraid these panic, anxiety, and depression issues will never go away.
Sometimes we have to endure the storms to get through them, there is no way of going around. But you WILL get there, there is hope.
Some people are more prone to stress reactions. You seem to simply be a person, and there are many like you, that are ultra sensitive to stress and the resulting sensitivity to cortisol.
There IS a silver lining behind it: people sensitive to stress are survivors. They just need to learn to handle the reactions to stress, recognize them, be ready for them and manage them.
I am nearly 70 - my grandparents and parents lived to nearly 100.
I figured I needed to learn and study as much as humanly possible about this hypersensitivity to stress beast. It is a beast.
But it is just thoughts. You are not your thoughts. Thoughts and thinking are two different things.
@slarson14 I just finished reading an excellent book by the fiction writer Matt Haig. He has a history of anxiety and depression and wrote about it in his book "Reasons to Stay Alive". He describes the mental and physical symptoms he experienced when he had his first episode when in his early 20's. Much of the reason Haig says he was able to recover was due to the love and support of his parents and his girlfriend who later became his wife.
I experienced my first episode of anxiety and depression at about the same age as Haig. Much of what he wrote in the book I referenced in my first paragraph resonates with me. Like Haig, I still have periods of anxiety and depression but none as severe as when I was 25-years-old. I'm now 73-years-old.