Hi again. I never mind anyone asking, teresa, as i really think a large part of my mission or reason on earth is to share. For me, anyway, i personally don't want to just take up space. But that is only me.
My grief counselor is named celia. She and the staff of Axis, which i believe is only located here in colorado, connect with dr. Andrew Rosenbach in tele viv once a week by skype. So that way they can discuss each person and how to proceed. Dr. Rosenbach sees me, at least, on scheduled appts once a month. His scheduled appts are difficult to get, he says, so he asked me to be sure to schedule ahead of time. He emphasized to me on skype that at any time i feel worse...to tell the office or celia...and they will call him that day. He prefers not to have me (his patient) wait.

Celia, i see once a week. Because she specializes in complex PTSD and EMDR ... I am going to her as opposed to a counselor working with other mental health issues. Interestestingly. Though, based on past trauma catching up to present trauma and complications of it all, she is checking with dr. R as tonhow to approach it. I kind of thought i was going because my son killed himself and i couldn't save him. But i forgot that i tried to save my youngest son's father also. He, his father, died when he was only six. I guess i just figured that stuff was in the past.

I got my youngest son the best help possible. But when he became 18, i had no control over how he chose to live his life. Anyway, his dad killed himself. when his dad was 40 years old. So when my youngest son passed that 40th year, and he himself was still alive, he had a vision of his deceased father and a conversation as to why his dad killed himself...and what my son was to do now with the rest of his life. So my so is following a path that he thinks his father planned for him. It's disturbing. But, again, maybe that is what happens as a result of suicide and the people left behind.

Gonna go get a hair cut. Love to all.