@jchantler I've read all of your posts. You have deftly described what it's like to be where you are in your cancer treatment. @ffr followed with her description. I'm just giving you my impression here of what you've both written and how significant this is for those of reading your words.

I'm 73-years-old. I was first diagnosed at age 67 and when I first heard the word "cancer" I too was planning my death and where I'd be buried. Those thoughts still come to me as I realize that I am closer to the end of my life and my friends all around me have serious illnesses or have died.

What do you think of the suggestion that @ffr made of talking with a social worker who specializes in oncology? There may be a social worker or group associated with your cancer care center. Sometimes we all need someone who has been through what we are going through. Their words at least for me have more authenticity. I don't know about you but I didn't need a social worker to tell me what to do or how to cope. I already knew and practiced much of those skills. I just needed a skilled and empathic person who listened to me. I think listening is the greatest gift we can give one another.