Thanks for your post, @georgette12. I have been thinking about you and wondering how you are doing. You are certainly articulate in expressing your feelings and that counts for a lot in the healing process. Look forward to hearing from you again! Teresa

@georgette12

I've learned that saying the word, "suicide", in a conversation is a quick way to squelch the conversation. I know that it's difficult for my wife to cope with the knowledge that I've attempted a number of times, even though it's been several years ago. I live with a lot of guilt for having put my wife through so much trauma over the past dozen years. I don't know why I think about it as much as I do. I'm fairly sure that for me, it's connected with depression. I've gone way past doing it for attention. I know that I'm still alive today because of my wife. I don't want to cause the grief that my suicide would result in. I'll certainly be talking about it with my new therapist.

Jim

jimhd: yes your right- the word suicide for many people seems to be some kind of profanity( which is not -in anyway " true") I believe -after working with many Soldiers and Marines- as well as Police Officers who have been on the edge of suicide and the many who completed suicide. The word should mean- thoughts of compassion, how can I help, what I can do for the person, non- Judgemental thoughts, What would God have me say? As a chaplain and soldier in Viet Nam -I have worked with and been with over hundreds of folks who have talked about if, but not really serious, some who just think what it would like( which I believe everyone on the planet has had a thought like that. Those who call for help, those who call me because they are ready - but still hoping for a life line, for hope " real hope" in our culture there is - without question a real lack of " innocent" lack of really caring for others, how many people do you know that even say thank you- for holding the door for them- I took a day and did my own research on this ( I would say to be conservative - over 50 people, only three said thank you.) Please don't be so hard on you- the times you were going through a crisis( whatever that may be to you- is your Buss:- but( and I not comparing your spouse in this) I believe you needed a helping hand, someone that doesn't ask hundreds of questions, but just listens to your pain and than together try and find a solution that you feel at peace with. The folks I have talked to who survived suicide- told me they felt lost, hopeless, worthless,left our of the community and friends and even family. Glad you are talking with a Therpist- as he or she , needs to help you get rid of the guilt you feel- I don't believe and the Medical stats proves that guilt should not play a role in the recovery of attempted suicide or just thinking about. Yes, help would be the first thing I would do and call someone. If you ask you Therapist if suicide hurts- I would hope they would say Yes, it's a mental pain that's real- just as much as a cut on your arm and yes; depression plays a major role in suicide and many other physical and mental condition .- One key One is " PTSD" I can confess I have PTSD from war for many years and 45 years of the Military.

@johnjames Thanks for your words that come from your experiences, they make a difference! Teresa