Thank you for your insights.
Yes, I can bounce this off his brother, who has thankfully been able to pick him up every few months so they can do “projects” together. This gives me a much needed reprieve of several days in a row to just breathe.
Yes, I would have to be the one to drive him to this job ( which I will not do). Yes, he will have to borrow scaffolding from a friend, which I can circumvent. Thank you for helping get those options to the forefront. His anger is not physically dangerous toward me but is emotionally crushing.
Oh, and we have a “beloved truck” too…the one that was so meticulously cared for now has several dents, dings, etc. I was not surprised he failed the OT driving evaluation which prompted neurologist to report to DMV. He has not driven the truck since. If he does, he knows I will take the keys. I know this situation is very difficult for him and I try to empathize, but must draw the line when he or others could get hurt.