Hello..
I don't think you are the bad guy. With the one's who are given the task of keeping peace and also at the same time protecting our loved ones from themselves certainly feels like you do. Do you have a previous incident that you can compare that might remind of the fallout of his actions? Has he fallen or gotten lost? Try to remember something where he was in a situation that you can talk about. They will still get angry no matter what. It sounds dangerous and I certainly understand the ramifications of the fallout. I use examples of other things that have caused my spouse to be injured. Hopefully he is only using words and not threats. I cannot tell you how many times I have been told that I can't stop him. He is stubborn. Do you have family that can help with this? It sounds like another voice of reason needs to come into help. My son helps and he listens to him. I saw him once say Dad are you wanting to break a bone just because you don't want others to know? Which by the way I said the same thing. Pride seems to be part of the equation. Women tend to be what will happen if he does this or that. I believe we think in a nurturing way and safety always prevails. I am concerned for you as well. My husband gets so angry when I don't feel like going out. He does not think of the numerous things I have to do and take before we get out the front door. I change the subject and start to cook. Because usually he wants to go out for food. My husband will not get rid of his driver's license. He cannot drive due to his neurologist sending information to the DMV. He won't physically turn in his license, Our insurance still has him on the policy. Which means it cost more. When I approached him about what they said he was so angry and said awful things to me. I might take his name off of my car. Before we got rid of his vehicle I parked behind him. Hid his keys and he was furious. His behavior returns back to it everytime we go out. He was so dangerous that he would stop on green at a light and then turn . There were cars behind us and I had to say go this is not a red light. We almost got rear ended. That was the last time I rode with him. We have sold his beloved truck. He cannot remember how to get to his neurologist office. Believe me I don't know the answer for you..but can you speak with the person wanting the job done? I feel helpless in helping you. But since you said scaffolding and I am sure a saw is included . I am sorry this is so long. Doesn't he need to drive to do this? I would use this if you can. He will possibly be angry but redirect with the driving. Heavy equipment. My husband cannot lift. Good luck and God bless.