Your journey is very similar to mine. I live in Maine, so was only able to go to Mayo for a second opinion. I was relieved when they affirmed the treatment plan my oncologist has me on. I have found that I have to follow up on everything from prescription refills to insurance to appointments. I never assume that anything gets done correctly. Keeping my own binder with important dates, results, and research has been helpful in keeping me organized. My mantra has been, "Make one decision at a time." Decide what is important to you. For me, I want good days, so I always ask myself, does this treatment trade June days for March days (metaphorically speaking). This helps me to feel like I have some control. Sometimes I say no to offered treatments, or at least not yet. My tumors are functional, producing gastrin which causes heartburn and terrible diarrhea, so I am grateful for lanreotide injections that keep the symptoms at bay. This allows me to enjoy my fifteen month-old grandson and his big sister. When I am overwhelmed or tired of thinking about cancer I have a list of topics that I can choose to think about, instead, like trips, garden projects, even a massive home remodel that will never happen just to give my brain something to chew on. These little bits of control, or at least perceived control have been great tools for maintaining quality of life, physical, mental, and spiritual.
Know you are not alone.