I’m sorry for the loss of your sons. I have attempted suicide, and I know the terrible pain it would cause for my wife and children. Knowing that keeps me from further attempts.
I don’t know how long depression has been affecting me, but in 2003, my doctor prescribed my first antidepressant, and in 2005, I crashed. I was overdosing, wanting to die, and was deeply depressed.
I don’t think I’d be able to handle all that you are. You have a source of strength. Maybe you could tell us what keeps you going. We all have our own coping resources, and it helps to find new ways to cope.
I have a support team, and each member helps me in different ways. God is at the top of the list, my wife, my service dog, church, and a few friends. I hope to start seeing a therapist again in February. The last one moved more than a year ago. They don’t stay here very long, because they can make so much more money in bigger cities. The town I live in is just under 10,000. The challenge has been finding a therapist who takes Medicare.
Well, I have to get a shower and get to bed so I can get up early for my appointment with the pain specialist tomorrow. Blessings to you.