It sounds like you are in very good hands with your surgeon. He/she seems to be taking all the necessary steps to provide you with information that is going to guide what comes next. The waiting is hard, I know, and it is easy to catastrophize. If you can, try to remind yourself of the things that have been good signs: e. g., voice and parathyroids preserved, no sign of lymph node involvement, and a surgeon who has taken the lead in getting more expert opinions. Remember, too, that you are only a few weeks out from surgery and you are adjusting to being on medication, which usually takes some time to get right. Feeling lost sounds normal. My word was destabilized. And in the absence of the additional expert opinions you are waiting for you can't yet restabilize. Do you remember the toy that was called weeble wobbles? You could knock them down but they always righted themselves. Are you able to eat and sleep? Those are foundational at times like this. You can speak to your doctor about medications that can help with those as well as anxiety and depression you might be feeling, all of which would be normal! Hang in there. I always tell myself to just keep putting one foot in front of the other. Feed the cats, get groceries, wash the dishes, pay the bills so that you can see you are managing your everyday life. It helps me!