My adult son’s mental illness is stealing his lovely life away from him. I had to stop taking calls and texts because of abuse … which never would have happened w/o the effects of pts and bipolar. He slipped out of the country because he became so weary in dealing with the court system. I hear from family and friends periodically who want to know why he would be contacting them for money and if it’s a scam. Every time I need to explain and apologize … and realize I have no control the situation leads me to such a dark place. In taking care of myself and of course reading every thing I can get my hands on… I find it almost impossible to find peace or even mobility. I guess I am physically , emotionally, spiritually, psychologically stunned. It feels like it’s too big to be true. I feel like life has given me a situation I cannot reconcile. Days like today when I have been unable to move off the couch except for taking care of myself. There was a time when I could not do that. My undoing is when I realize the terrifying situation he is in with all the relationships his mental illness has destroyed. I would rather be dead than to feel the pain I perceive he is dealing with. My own mental health becomes an issue.