I understand completely, Betty. That's why we at afibbers.org, a free forum site for anyone needing help managing their AF or just dealing with it emotionally, routinely insist that people gather some courage, and their other necessary resources (including $$$), and find the very best EP their money and energy can buy. Those experts are very busy, in high demand, have been practicing for at least ten years (you DO want experience because that teaches in a way you can't in the classroom), and are doing between 6-12 ablations every week. However, asking the EP, when face-to-face, what his/her success rate for index ablations is will help to put you at ease. If they say 90%, don't believe them! Not even the vaunted Dr. Andrea Natale or Dr. Pasquale Santangeli would claim such a level of success. My own EP, the Canadian Cardiac Association's Student of the Year for 1991 was the EP who did my two ablations, and he calmly told me his success rate was about 75% for a first crack at anyone's heart.
I would try to encourage you to be more optimistic than you seem to be, and to educate yourself about what is involved in an ablation. It's straightforward, day surgery (you're home that night just as you would be for a colonoscopy), and if it doesn't work, like it didn't for me, get right back into line and hope for the best. Worked for me. Some take three, four stabs at it before some bright bulb figures out where to make the lesions and block the electrical impulses that are causing the chaos.