Connect
← Return to Am I disabled? Now what.
Discussion
Epilepsy & Seizures | Last Active: 8 hours ago | Replies (21)
Comment receiving replies
Epileptic seizures are not a choice. I don't wake up and say, wow today wod be a great day for a seizure. Or I'm tired of working so let me have seizures in front of my clients so I am so humiliated in front of them they no longer want to work with me. No one would want that.
You are right that we can choose how we process our chronic medical condition. This is the battle anyone with epilepsy has to fight. We also have to confront our internal challenges and those who try to invalidate our own experiences.
Replies to "Epileptic seizures are not a choice. I don't wake up and say, wow today wod be..."
Connect
I write to try and keep people from going down the road I did. It wasn't a pleasant journey. I need to tell more about my TBI journey for people to understand.
My disability is determined based on how I live with the possibility of having a seizure. A seizure is disabling, I don't let the possibility of having a seizure cause me to become totally disabled.
Seizures ended my life as a CPA, I went from being productive to being a burden. My life changed in seconds with a TBI from a car accident. It was as if I had a sudden onset of dementia, I couldn't think straight, remember where I was or what I was doing, got lost walking around the block. Someone had to be with me 24 hours a day. I no longer had a life. I became so despondent that it scares me to think of what I might have done and how close I was to doing it. I had to change my thinking.
I don't wake up thinking today's a great day for a seizure, I wake up believing today will be a great day. I try to see a seizure as an event in my day and not my total day. Yes, a seizure is humiliating, I often apologize after one. I know there are people who don't want to be in public with me because I may embarrass them with a seizure. I can't let that person control my day and I encourage everyone else not to let that happen.
There are days I just want to crawl up in a corner and vanish from the world. I can't allow myself to dwell on those days or I'm "dead" long before I die.