Your posting struck a chord, and my depression has been with me since about the age of 10 and I’m now 78. It comes and goes. Mostly it has been “goes” having been married for over 43 years and helping raise two children. Unlike you, I didn’t need to go into therapy at a late age to figure out I have had a form of PTSD for many decades. This suddenly dawned on me about two years ago when I had Mohs surgery on my scalp. The cutting into my skin had more effect on the inside of my head than it did to the outside, which healed nicely after 5 months. There is a line in a Bob Dylan song that goes “You don’t need to be e weatherman to know which way the wind blows”. I did online research on PTSD, and it all became self- evident to me. After researching it I realized that my depression has been with me since my alcoholic father left the family and abandoned his only child never to be seen again. He died alone in an SRO (a euphemism for a tenement dump) of alcoholism at the young age of 43. He never bothered to ever want to see me. He left me nothing but painful memories all these years, and after the Mohs surgery I started to replay those memories over and over. Needless to say, this affects my relationships with my wife, two daughters and the 4 grand kids. At this point, I refuse therapy to tell me the obvious. I just press on day by day and have tried to forget the depressing childhood by collecting – books, movie posters, and over 10,000 (and counting) DVDs. It’s the collector’s mentality. I guess I'm making up for the loss and the guilt that so many kids feel about their parent's divorce. In Freudian terms I guess I’m considered anal retentive, and over the years it has blunted some of the early pain. You certainly sound like a survivor. Best wishes.