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What a blessing to be able to still drive and to be able to care for your own needs at 90! I do understand the alone part though. I hope you enjoy reading, and have a hobby you love; it truly does help!
I have eight children, plus two "bonus" sons, but none of them live close, but I could call on any one of them if I needed to. I am very blessed to have a loving, faithful and kind spouse. We are both active in church, and read scriptures every day. We know everything good in our lives comes from our Heavenly Father. We are old, and slower, but we know we are blessed, even with some tough health issues.
I hope you have a true friend that you can "vent" too, and trust. Every person NEEDS that. I wish you happier times, and peace.
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@dorma
Can I asked what a "bonus son" is?
All my blood family has passed. I do have family on my wife's side but it is not the same.
My wife and my dog are my best friends and are always there for me. Seems my dog reconigizes a bad day really fast and smothers me with animal love.
I too developed PTSD in later life from previous life trauma which spread into anxiety/panic disorder. Medications, great medical and mental specialist at Mayo and my best friends have allowed me to realize I am lucky (even at 78) to have such best friends and a full life.