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Pancreatic Cancer Group: Introduce yourself and connect with others
Pancreatic Cancer | Last Active: 12 hours ago | Replies (1675)Comment receiving replies
We followed the advise for questions and just finished doing CT angiogram as well as PET and MRI scans yesterday. Met with the surgeon and the scans came back in our meeting. We went from talking about resection and laparoscopy to see if cancer was in abdominal wall to doing a liver biopsy as cancer had already metastasized to several places in my liver. I am not a candidate for resection now, but the hope is that I am one of the 5% that has the gene that responds to chemo.
As mentioned by one of you, yesterday was a tough day. I want to fight but last night was stuck in the “what does the world look like without me in it?”.
My wife will eventually be a widow. I may not ever see grandchildren. In my small , rural school they won’t be able to replace me as teachers are in such short supply.
It is defeatist, I know, and I won’t sit with these thoughts long, but I have to work through all the feelings that go with this diagnosis.
I’m assuming I have to grieve the life I thought I would have as I transition to the life I will have.
Biopsy tomorrow and hopefully getting a port next week.
I have never cried as much as I did yesterday afternoon…with my wife, with my family as we called all of our immediate family.
Your stories help as I am rereading the fact that some of you are much further in life than the statistics would show. Even the doc said each of us is very unique and wouldn’t give me a “how long I have” estimate. She only said without treatment would be 6 months.
I’m sitting here in bed at 4 am and I can’t sleep anymore. Time is the most importantly thing I have left. I want to spend it fighting this and being with my family as much as I can.
Sorry for the ramble.
Replies to "We followed the advise for questions and just finished doing CT angiogram as well as PET..."
I am sorry this has happened to you. I am a wife and the journey since diagnosis 20 months ago has been tough. We are not out of it yet. All your fears are my husband’s. I can only encourage you to keep fighting - see doctors, get treatment (whatever is available) and pray.
I was in your place in a hotel in Houston after getting a second opinion at MD Anderson. I fell apart. One morning very early, a light woke me up and it hit me! 13% is a very large number-I put on my big girl pants and decided I would prepare for the fight. I found a doctor that would give me goals to fight for, I went to work!
That was 11/2021, I was dx stage 4 with multiple mets all over my liver and tumor in my pancreas. I did NOT quit work, I did NOT quit volunteering but I DID allow myself more quiet time and more time for walking! Get your finances in order (you could get hit by a bus tomorrow😊) then get back to life with some alterations in your schedule.
May God bless you with wisdom and angels in your life💜
PS. It hasn’t been easy-the surgeries, clinical trials, chemo-but you have down time then you get back up and get going again, even if only a week at a time.
Pray. Specifically. Stay alert for people that He puts in your life.
My husband was diagnosed last July with Stage 4 Pancreactic Cancer. He had a Distal Pancreatomy and many setbacks after that. He has slowly recovered from the Surgery and believe me, we have both cried a lot. He has never had any treatment since, No Chemo, No Radiation. He is doing pretty well. Tired a lot but we are trying to enjoy every day ! It has been almost a year . Going through this with my Husband is tough. We have been married for 50 Years . Please keep your Spirits up. Miracles happen every Day !
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Good Luck. I’ll pray for you.