Hi @ranch, caregiving takes a toll.
I've reached the conclusion that when it is no longer relatively easy to take care of my spouse (Alzheimer's) it will be time for him to go into a care home.
If he were to get violent, abusive or wander, or engage in strange and disruptive behaviors, I would place him in a care home.
He outweighs me by 50 lbs, and I need a shoulder replacement, which I can't get as long as I'm taking care of him. If therte were many physical demands placed on me for his care I wouldn't be able to do it.
At this point, he can dress himself, he's continent, and he can do small tasks around the house. He spends a lot of time in bed and usually sleeps through the night. He will shower, reluctantly, with me and go for walks.
I basically tell him what to do. We can still have conversations.
He always wants to eat right on time. If I were on my own, I would cook less. I also have to be the food police (no fun) as he was prediabetic for a while. I lock the fridge at night as he would be snacking every two hours.
My physical health is worse than his, but I am managing okay.
My husband only tolerates company for so long. In his mind, outsiders are invaders.
Can you get help in your home and take a break?
Can you speak to a geratrician or social worker for help? Is there an Alzheimer's Association or Office of Aging in your area where you can get support and some professional insight?
The reality is this disease gets worse over time.
I will do all I can to take care of my husband, but when I'm not physically or mentally able, I will stop and hand that task over to people more qualified and able to do it.
Meanwhile, my mantra is if I go down, he goes down.
I wish you the best!