The Cat in the Hat on Lupron (with some help from ChatGPT Pro)

I once had a gland, it was lively and spry,
‘Til the doc came along with a wink in his eye.
“It’s cancer,” he said, “but we’ve got a great plan —
We’ll knock out your hormones as fast as we can!”

He gave me a shot — Lupron was its name.
At first, I felt fine, but it soon changed the game.
Then who should arrive in my brain like a goon?
Why, the Cat in the Hat — with a hot flash balloon!

He danced on my nerves and he flailed with great flair,
“I’ve stolen your sex drive! You won’t even care!”
He juggled my muscles, he juggled my mood,
He took all my cravings and messed with my food.

“My bones are now thinning!” I started to yell.
Said the Cat, “Welcome, friend, to my hormone-free hell!”

“I’ll give you night sweats and emotional swings!
I’ll take your erections and give you… sad things!
Your patience is gone, your joints are all sore —
And wait till you cry at the grocery store.”