My heart goes out to you all. Full disclosure-- 20+ years ago purchased long term care insurance. Had to use it on/of during three years when wife had major back surgery and contracted MRSA. Am using it now for a caregiver to come in at home. I realize that many/most ppl don't have it and life can be hell. My wife and I have had multiple discussions now (she is in early stage dementia and able to have an intelligent conversation) and in the past. I don't think either of us want to be a life sucking burden to the other. When it becomes obvious that she is not able to get what she needs at home, I'll find a good residential facility for her and keep up our relationship as best as I can. If I didn't have the insurance, I doubt that we would think any differently. I would obtain consultation from an experienced elder law attorney about how to divide our finances so that she would in essence be a "pauper" so that she would be eligible for medicaid. of that were to become necessary. I am not willing to totally drain our savings and have nothing to live on if I am not able to continue working.

We also have section in our advanced directives that allows us to go to a state that has a "death with dignity" law allowing for medical assisted self-live termination. I know many will disagree with our approach, but that's how we see things. This goes for both of us.