I honestly think the root is my first best friend when I was 16. She was 13. I feel like we were emotionally dependent on eachother. We talked every day. When I went out of town for a week and we weren't able to talk(these were the days before cell phones) when I got back I had letters from her telling me how depressed she was because she couldn't talk to me and how much she missed me. The insecurity I have with my best friends comes from the fact that when I was 18, she wrote me and told me she wanted to stop being best friends because of our age difference and another friend of hers that was the same age would take my place. So now, I constantly am insecure about losing my best friends. My current best friend understands my emotional dependence that I have on her and is supportive and understanding. She doesn't completely understand because she doesn't have this issue which is good. I would not wish this problem on anyone. Although Honestly I want her to be emotionally dependent on me too. That would make me happy and would make things easier on me. I do take gabapentin for anxiety and it helps somewhat. I prefer alcohol though however it is not healthy to drink as much as I would like to drink. I am in therapy and it is somewhat helpful. Thank you for your encouragement and commendation and for your kind response to my post. I would love to talk more about it and look forward to hearing from you again.