Hello Fran,
I'm wondering if you have tried working with a psychotherapist to come to a level of acceptance--not surrender, but acceptance. Understanding that this will likely be a part of your life for the rest of your life, and learning to live again even with the presence of pain. As a therapist, there is an approach called Acceptance and Commitment Therapy or ACT that is really beneficial for folks dealing with chronic pain among many other things. If you can find an ACT trained therapist in your area, I think that you will find it beneficial. I did regarding the chronic daily migraine I experience 24/7, but have learned to not let it control my life. Best of luck and I hope you find something helpful soon!