i truly believe that we may not ever understand the behavior of our adult children and if they're not willing to rectify the disconnect, there's little we can do besides constantly questioning ourselves, what we did, or even assigning blame to them but it takes both of you wanting to reconnect or re-evaluate the situation. for me, at 78 with many post covid long haul symptoms that have affected me emotionally and physically, i've got to take care of me; keep my marriage in tact, and seek the help of a therapist to help me understand my part in the disconnect or to eventually let go. the older i've gotten the more wise i've become and hear about so many family disconnects...we are not alone tho we may feel alone very often.