Hello @gypsylaura, so sorry to hear about cancer #4....you've had more than your share. I was lucky enough to have my ear canal SCC surgery at Mayo Rochester in 2012. The subtotal temporal bone resection by my ENT surgeon was concluded with a select neck dissection done by Dr. Eric Moore. Multiple lymph nodes and superficial parotid salivary gland were removed, in addition to a portion of facial nerve, due to tumor involvement. I have had no ill effects from that part of the surgery other than the dry mouth which was also affected by radiation. The facial nerve was anastomosed so I have abnormal nerve control of one side of face but much better than total paralysis as it was after surgery. Certainly I would not hesitate to do that surgery again if it was essential to cancer free survival.
It sounds like you might benefit from another opinion on your treatment plan. Is there a large referral center nearby or a cancer center or teaching hospital? We drive 10 hours to Mayo for followup all these years because their level of care does put the patient's needs as the primary concern. You must advocate for your own healthcare, as I imagine you have done in the past. Perhaps a more skilled surgeon is what you need?