@elmarie @gingerw

A cancer diagnosis is scary but especially a rare aggressive one at such a young age. My appendix cancer is aggressive and still counted as rare but there have been major breakthroughs in treatment and HIPEC for example was one. I hope the same goes with your daughter 🙏

Going to appointments with your daughter is her showing massive trust in you and how you handle the information. It’s scary for you both and not freaking out helps her stay focussed on information gathering and making the treatment plan with her team.

It’s difficult for those who love us to know what to say and do. Follow your daughter’s lead. If she doesn’t want to talk don’t push but if she does the main thing is LISTEN truly listen. Not try to fix.

I too relied on 2 very close friends more than others n my huge support team, partly because they both have severe lupus (and could help with my diet and mindfulness etc which they both practice). Partly because I didn’t want my father to worry - he knew I’d tell him important things. He was so stoical he was my bedrock. Quiet, strong and caring under me.

It’s hard finding the balance. Cancer is front and centre in some ways (medical appointments, treatments, side effects, new normal physically etc). Yet also detaching from all that and trying to enjoy what’s there in life to grab each day outside cancer is also so important. I had breakfast with my father every Saturday morning if I wasn’t ill and that became our special time. He’d simply ask how I was and left it to me to share if I wanted to. If I didn’t he never pushed and just reminded me he was there whatever I needed. We’d then just chat and go for an amble around the mall people watching and looking in windows. It’s finding the sweet spot. It’s different for everyone.