@elmarie Letting your daughter know she can talk to you at any time about any part of her cancer journey will be huge. Wait for prompts like, "what should I do/what would you do if...". Acknowledge the trepidation and fear she is going through, let her know you are there for her in whatever way she wants/needs. Perhaps starting a conversation with "It must be scary/ offputting to [fill in the blank] ..." Be realistic. Like you said, she is so much more than her cancer! But face it, right now it kinda has to be center stage as you all learn to address it.

In looking at your profile and other comments, your daughter's cancer seems to be aggressive. So, it behooves you both to get as much information as you can, and be ready to battle! There are some great advances in medical treatments, and don't be afraid to step up and ask the doctors for their thoughts and opinions. If she is okay with you accompanying her to appointments, be sure you take notes, write down questions ahead of time. That's a great way to show support/care and also get information!

Does this help address your concerns?
Ginger