Anyone ever request a new oncologist mid-treatment?

@korinja Hmm, this is certainly difficult. I'm thinking that you know there are other oncologists in this practice who might provide you with care? Is there anyone in particular you'd like to work with?

I can empathize with how meeting with your current oncologist is anxiety-provoking. You wrote that the mere thought of interacting with your current oncologist is so difficult that you need to take an anxiety med and ask someone else to communicate for you. This says a lot right there. Whatever occurred during this breakdown in communication must be awful to you to consider changing oncologists.

Here is what I recommend. I'm basing this on interactions my husband had with a practice manager when he wanted to work with a different provider in a urology practice. It wasn't cancer-related but there are ongoing appointments. He also had a communication problem with his previous provider. It was uncomfortable for him (I was present during all of this) and it did have a good outcome.

1. Ask who the practice manager is in the oncology. This is often a nurse with management experience.
2. Remind yourself that you are the only one who can decide what you need and how you would like to advocate for yourself. Write down your concerns on paper to be prepared for a meeting. Take someone with you - a close friend, your spouse, a loved one?
3. Once you know the name of the practice manager make an appointment. Hopefully in person, Since you are actively in cancer treatment this is huge thing and I hope the practice manager will be compassionate and open to listening to you.
4. You can start the conversation by letting the practice manager know how difficult this is for you. You would and are asking for his/her help. Asking verbally for their help is key here because you are letting them know you aren't complaining about your current oncologist who may be very good at what they do. You are going through the proper channels to find another oncologist who you would feel comfortable with.
3. When you have the meeting or conversation you can say positive things about your current oncologist like you wrote here such as this oncologist saved your life. And then describe the breakdown in communication and how anxiety-provoking it is to try to communicate with your current oncologist which in effect creates anxiety that is so difficult while survival and living a quality of life is your main concern. Please consider saying something about how you wish to partner with your oncologist in your care and how important communication is for you. At the end you can then say something positive again about your current oncologist while also thanking the practice manager for listening to you.

I don't have an opinion on whether or not you should pursue this change because I do think this is really up to you and what you need.

Is there anything else you would like to share with me about this to help you figure out what you'd like to do?

Hi korinja,
I have just done what you are asking about. I really like and respect my gynecologist oncologist. The staff in his office have messed up orders are rude and non carrying. I written and spoken to the doctor throughout my care. He says he will restructure my care management but it doesn't happen.
I'm through chemotherapy and I'm about a 1/3 through maintenance. I'm changing oncologist. I'm feel so frustrated with the current team I don't want to go to appointments. If I have a recurrence I wouldn't want to deal with them again. I felt I was physically and mentally in a good space to make a change. I met the new oncologist last week. I feel good about my decision.
Denise

Good work! it is important to advocate for yourself. Glad it worked out

Hello Korinja,
I switched oncologists—twice! And, yes, some people think I’m a finicky witch. Cancer is scary enough; we don’t need communication barriers to make it worse.
I saw my first doctor, Dr B, at diagnosis. He explained how ovarian cancer tends to unfold and what he thought was going on in my case.
He ordered an MRI. The next day, I called for the results. I left a message. (I wasn’t expecting a response that day. I called just in case the results were available.) I called the next day—nothing. And the next.
On the fifth day, I called another doc in the same group, Dr H. He was out of town, but his office contacted him, and he called me. He heard my concerns, said he would look into it, and got me the results. So, I switched to Dr H.
Dr B called me and apologized for not getting back to me. Apparently, he had never received any of my messages. He was quite angry with his staff about the lack of communication. But I wasn’t comfortable staying with him and switched my care to Dr H.
Who seemed great, at first.
Before surgery, my primary cancer burden was in my omentum. The rest was scattered throughout my abdomen, like sesame seeds. I had three cycles of chemo, then surgery. Dr H took out my tubes and ovaries, but nothing else, not even the omentum. When I asked why not, he said it looked really good after the chemo. This didn’t sit well with me. I went to Mayo for a second opinion.
Most second opinions concur with the original opinion. I knew this and just wanted reassurance that what Dr H did was OK.
Dr K, the Mayo doc, said, “The surgery you had was what I would have done for an 85-year-old.” (I was 61.) “I would have been far more aggressive with a woman your age.” And the real kicker: “This was not standard of care.”
After I picked my jaw up from the floor, she offered to do a much more thorough surgery, with HIPEC (intraabdominal chemo). I had it done. She removed my uterus, appendix, and most important, my omentum. And pathology found active cancer in my omentum.
I kept my next follow up appointment (I honestly don’t know why) with Dr H, who had received records from Mayo, so he knew what I had had done. The first thing he said to me was, “You could be cured!”
I was so shocked and flabbergasted, I didn’t know what to say. What I wished I had said was, “Then why didn’t YOU do all this?!?!”
Nevertheless, that was the last time I saw Dr H. I made Dr K my doctor from then on.
So, I recommend second opinions. And third opinions. And switching doctors when necessary!

i changed my doctor at the very beginning of my diagnosis because of failure to communicate, provide information, and scheduling timely appointments.

changing my doctor was hands down the best thing i ever did for my health. when health professionals make you feel like they do not have your best interest at heart you spend a lot of time double checking what the doctor said, what the doctor does, and countless time stressed out about your health and is the doctor doing the best thing for me.

since it was early for me, i switched in between getting the diagnosis and needing a radical hysterectomy.

I had to change gyn oncologist. I had recurrent metastatic endometrial cancer that had spread to pelvic area,sigmoid colon,rectum and omentum. I was told surgery was not an option. So started 6 rounds of chemo no change. It only kept it stable. Still surgery was not an option. Dr said I would have to stay on chemo from then on. The reason I had to change was because my insurance stopped using that teaching hospital or I probably wouldn't have changed I felt I was getting good care But cancer had spread to much.
My insurance helped me find a gyn oncologist about 2 hours from here, he was an amazing surgeon and was willing to do surgery. That was 8 years ago and still in remission. I take letrozole everyday for maintance. I wish I had got a second opinion at the beginning. Live and learn. Hope all goes well with you

I am in SHOCK Dr H did not remove your omentum. I too investigated and then interviewed surgeons when I was diagnosed with Ov Ca. I ended up at Mt Sinai and had my omentum removed and HIPEC, I sure hope I am cured too. That was 3 years ago, so far so good.
I have a local gyn onc that I am not thrilled with but I just need her for quarterly CA 125s and maybe annual MRI's. What is your surveillance to confirm the OvCa does not become active again.

Personally I wouldn’t think twice about changing to another oncologist, if it’s so upsetting to you that’s not good, I say to myself ‘ you’re a patient to them but it’s your life’. Best wishes in your decision ❤️

Wow what a story filled with hope.

Hi - I felt almost like I was reading something I wrote myself. I too had utmost faith and trust in my gyn onc when I first was diagnosed. She definitely saved my life and I still would recommend her as a surgeon. But afterwards through follow-up, treatment, now a recurrence and more treatment, the communication progressively became worse. I was 'assigned' a medical oncologist for chemo and felt the communication between them was bad and I always felt caught in the middle. I dreaded appointments with either of them just because I didn't want to interact with them. I feared asking questions and left appointments feeling 'less than' (hard to explain). I didn't want to make a move because everything was so conveniently located and made it so easy on my family and work (less time missed, etc.). Also, the actual care-givers in treatment (nurses, aides, techs) were very lovely. But finally I couldn't take it anymore and I made a change. I am soooooo happy now with the care I am receiving from my current doctors and it makes such a huge difference.

I would encourage you to start at least looking for the right fit. I did and requested a 'second opinion' to get to know the office and doctors a bit. Truthfully, I was afraid my current doctors would know I was looking. (Silly, I know - it's MY life and I am doing what's best for me!) Once I felt comfortable, I made the switch.

My treatment is continuing without a hitch. The extra travel is well worth it. I feel listened to and all my questions are answered respectfully. I leave appointments feeling cared for and not put down.

Bottom line, please do what is best for you. If you are not comfortable with your care team now, find another.

Best of luck!