@jed1968
I think the best you can do at this point is get individual counseling for you and your teens. See if your wife would be willing to go for couples/family counseling.

My parents were both narcissistic and my mother was also very emotionally immature. I have had many struggles throughout life because my parents were very narcissistic.

It is hard to change a narcissist so it is not really worth the effort. You want to focus on what you can change/control yourself.
1. https://www.simplypsychology.org/narcissistic-marriage-problems.html
2. https://www.choosingtherapy.com/married-to-a-narcissist/
3. https://psychologydiary.com/relationships/98685169/2025/04/narcissist-2/
4. https://mindpsychiatrist.com/what-is-it-like-to-be-married-to-a-narcissist/