Connect
Comment receiving replies
Again, @projfan, thank you. You have wonderful insights! After many years as group admin on some chronic illness groups, I got a little burnout on groups. My pal had to arm twist me for this one and I am so glad he did. I'm by nature an introvert, and also by choice. It's what works for me. A very happy introvert, I might add. But I still enjoy making new friends, I've just become terribly drama adverse in my old age, consciously chose to withdraw a bit more about 10 years ago. I feel blessed that I have lots of younger friends, for the ones my age (80) and older are dropping off fast. But, of course, the younger folk do not care to discuss death and I have to respect that.
You have a wonderful mindset as you approach these encounters. The absence of judgement is key, and I'm so glad to hear someone else say; "It's OK, we just didn't click, it doesn't make either of us a bad person." I have the same attitude, and apply it to every situation. It sure did help me weed out a whole raft of medical people. Life is too short now, and too precious. And going into something with no expectations often leaves me pleasantly surprised. Because, at 80, I am still a work in progress and have much to learn! Keep on keepin' on. Peace and Every Good.
Replies to "Again, @projfan, thank you. You have wonderful insights! After many years as group admin on some..."
Connect
Thank you so much!
I learned many years ago that for me, an essential part of having a chronic illness was finding ways to distract myself from it. Which doesn't happen if I wallow in my medical issues, or anyone else's medical issues. I'm all in on staying informed and learning about them, but also all in on not letting them bleed out into the rest of my life. I totally appreciate the value of support groups as a place to vent to sympathetic people, but if that's what dominates the group, it isn't for me, and I'm not going to be the right person for the rest of the group, either.
Love to hear that I can look forward to having it still work in the future! I believe I brought this observation into a post somewhere on one of these blogs, so forgive me if I'm duplicating, but my husband and I are on a waitlist to move into a CCRC-like community (which is to say, someplace where the two of us can be on the same campus if one of us needs a higher level of care, but not a place where we could buy down upfront the cost of that care as you can in a "life plan" community). And one of the two primary reasons we chose it out of a finalist group of five was that the vibe was better for making new friendships there if we chose to do that.
And continuing to learn and grow was the primary reason I retired -- I was good at what I did, enjoyed it, but if I didn't get back to challenging myself, I was going to lose my willingness and ability to do that. So, yay!