What you say is serious, but there is not enough in your description on which to comment. For example, you are talking about bodily symptoms. Is this just physical, or is there some unconscious or pre-conscious trigger setting off this cascade of physical symptoms? Have you had a medical work up to rule out causes other than ptsd? If it is ptsd, can you identify the precursor trauma(s) which initiated your response? Is your provider an MD who could make a 360° assessment, or refer you?
Just some questions.

I have moments of overwhelming saddness where I cry for no reason or at little things, I move slowly where people have noticed, I second guess my decisions all the time and forget things easily, also overthink everything to where I feel out of control.
I’m a victim of childhood abuse, physically and emotionally, I also found my mother dead when I was a child and have been verbally and sexually harassed at work for years, I’ve been in a car accident they told me I should be dead and was drugged last summer by someone who was close to me . Is this relevant or just life?
My md said I have ptsd and an anxiety disorder. I thought it was something neurological. when I see drugs on tv I start to feel anxious. But sometimes it’s my own mind triggering my feelings with anxiety. I worry that I’m just being too sensitive and that this is just normal 30 years old stuff.
I did a tone of blood work because at first we thought it was something else but it keeps pointing back to mental health.

T

I guess I just don’t believe it

@anxiousaphrodite From what you have described here about your childhood and adult traumatic experiences it is certainly possible that you are experiencing the symptoms of PTSD.

You might ask the difference between C-PTSD and PTSD. The C in the first one refers to Complex which means that there are multiple and chronic traumatic experiences. Here is a good description from a reliable website at Cleveland Clinic.

Cleveland Clinic-Complex PTSD:

-- https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/24881-cptsd-complex-ptsd

What you described in your initial post when you started the discussion sounds very much like panic attacks that come out of the blue and can be a symptom that is associated with PTSD. I have experienced panic attacks that were debilitating and made it very hard for me to function in my everyday life. When I had panic attacks I felt the symptoms all over my body. Just like you described. I worked with a psychiatrist who prescribed antidepressant/antianxiety medication that worked for me.

Is your doctor who made the diagnosis a psychiatrist? Are you seeing a mental health therapist who specializes in PTSD?

I too was diagnosed with cPTSD from my days in the military. I have tried all the meds, the treatments and techniques - nothing works. Talk therapy just keeps you in the trauma and reliving it. I finally did a psilocybin magic mushroom retreat. 5 day guided and managed retreat. It worked wonders - the center made me set my intentions up front and they share that with your “sitters” so they can help guide you while you’re “tripping”. Mine was to stop ruminating over past events. When I left I felt like a whole new person. It lasted for some time but you have to keep doing it for longer lasting results. A lot of people microdose the mushrooms so you get the benefits daily. Anderson Cooler did a documentary on it - search Netflix’s. It’s good.