I am in the same boat with all of you. I was denied attending my granddaughter's wedding because "I was not welcome." They may as well have stabbed me in the heart. When they came for my husband's funeral, they kept well away from me. I was told by my son that his wife considered me too judgemental and she was not going to stand for it anymore. I sent them a long email and acknowledged that I may have (unknowingly) have hurt people, and if so, I took the responsibility for it, owned it and apologized. I expressed a desire to keep open the relationship. But none of this worked. So I did the only thing I could. I consulted with my attorney, changed my trust and cut them out as they cut me out. For certain actions there are consequences. A few years have now gone by and there is nothing. I informed my new trustee that she had no obligation to inform them of my death when that happens.