Hi newlife - sorry just not responding to this-
I get the emotionally drained part and the depression. There are still days I think of my first hours after receiving my diagnosis and it brings me to tears - after 34 years. I felt so alone, especially in 1988 - all my friends that I knew were + were getting very sick and I envisioned that would be me in a few months. The depression was unbearable at times and cannot say that suicide was not on my mind. Find a good therapist for yourself to help you through this. My best advice to you is to adhere to your drug regimen and do not miss a dose. Have you told any family or friends? They will not understand for sure but hopefully one or two will step up and be your 'rock' when you need it. Let me know how you are doing and write whenever you feel the need or have questions.