I’m curious as to why we push our family and friends away, I did the same thing over the past few years after getting cancer, it was not possible to see them with covid in full force but as time passed I realized it was what I wanted. I don’t know if this happened to anyone else, I sometimes felt envy when I heard how much support some people have, I never had this with my family. I started having nightmares about trauma I suffered at the hands of an older brother, this was the start of my isolation, it took getting cancer for me to realize I didn’t have a very good family life, it’s like my mind is only focused on those who hurt me over the years. I did have some therapy sessions but it merely skimmed the surface of my pain. Sadly the only thing that came out of this unhappiness is that I am losing my fear of death, I do fear how I will die but I’m not afraid to say goodbye to those I called my family and friends.

Amu45sin here.
I know how you feel, and send many hugz
Please try and accept what is happening and embrace it. By accepting it and embracing it, you will not reject it, both mentally and physically. Anger does nit help us to heal our body.
Please try and let it go and release it.
You can do it!