That is more or less how I feel. It will soon be four years but the pain seems greater, not lesser. Unlike you I do not have friends. This has always been the case for me. I have been aware of this for years. Unhappily I do not know the reason why I do not "click." If I did I would try to do something to fix it. I am getting close to 91 years old but I am still in pretty good health. But I do not feel I am really living. I am just existing, waiting for the end.