Hi @jude5, some people have posted that melatonin helps when their loved ones have agitated sleep. I give my husband 5 mg and it usually quiets him down. Some people here have posted that 10 mg, twice at intervals, 4:00pm and later, works well. Best to check with the doctor if melatonin would be okay for your spouse.
Yesterday we had a visitor my husband was able to tolerate for five hours. He stayed up until I went to bed and slept through the night, no talking or yelling out loud. I guess he was tired and talked out from the visit.
When your husband gets angry with you, can you leave his immediate presence for a while? I find that works. I also find agreeing with my husband de-escalates things. Sometimes I say, I'm a terrible person, and if you like, you can live somewhere else. Then he protests and we're good again.
Sigh, this is work that requires some cunning!
You are doing a fine job.
When people resist wanting to let their loved ones go, after they stop eating or express the desire to stop treatment, I always wonder who is that for, the loved one or the caregiver/relative who can't say goodbye?
Take care.