I am sorry to hear momof2sons. Do you have any hobbies? Any friends you can connect with? White hair is stunning. Take care of the rest of you, find activities that bring you joy and little by little you will do better. A counselor may help to ease the answers to questions you have for sure. 64 is today's world is not old, but it seems you feel that way. I must say that when i am called ma'am I want to shout call me Miss!!!! I am 64.
Above all else, if you are not active, get active. Walk. Do something to get the blood flowing and listen to podcasts or radio stations that play music YOU love and podcasts with topics you LOVE.
Take the time to live your life right now as you want to. Let it unfold every day.