Become a learner, it will empower you. The Internet has great resources. The more you learn, the more you can advocate for your husband. Get test results early. Get your husband's permission to access his records and go on your husband's medical portals like MyChart. Often, you will see test results before the doctor reviews them. When you get test results, look up what they mean. You will see words that are medical terms and you will need to search those so you understand what they are. This will allow you to ask deeper questions of doctors. I have done so much of this that I have had doctors ask me in a very positive way, "Are you a doctor, you ask great questions?"

I have done this since my departed father's lymphoma diagnosis in 1996. He beat that cancer. When we first met with the oncologist in that case, the oncologist was astounded that I knew so much about that particular cancer, Non-Hogkin large cell lymphoma, and he encouraged me to keep it up. Most doctors really appreciate patients and advocates who are learners . . . and who listen intently and respond.

Know the indications for the stage of the cancer ASAP. Like, what is the size of the mass and where is it located. Your husband may be a candidate for Whipple surgery. That surgery is a huge one, what I call the mean, nasty, extreme surgery. BUT, it is generally a life saver. If you want to know more about it, the Mayo Clinic and the Cleveland Clinic websites have good descriptions. Actually, Wikipedia has a very good description, too.

As you learn and empower yourself, and therefore your husband, you will not feel so helpless. This is a doggone war and you can turn yourself and your husband into warriors capable of defeating the enemy that is cancer. Hope is alive and God has given you the gift of free will. Let's use our free wills to defeat cancer.