Having gone through this 2 years ago exactly, I empathize so much with what you're going through. What I hope for you right now is that you have a care team you trust. What you shouldn't need to be doing is worrying about what to do next with treatment etc-- you should find, if possible, a care team that communicates with each other and with you about options and next steps. I love what @stever1 said about the write-on wipe-off board. It freaked me out when I was first diagnosed and my team was determining next steps, and it seemed like things changed constantly. I realized later that that was a GOOD thing, because as they learned and discussed more, they determined better courses of action. If they had just chosen a course and stuck with it, it might have indicated that they weren't adjusting and adapting the plan based on new information. So my hope for you is that you do have a team you can trust and that can handle the logistics, with your consultation of course, so that you can focus on keeping your body and mind strong for whatever is to come. You can do this!!