My psychiatrist actually put me on lamotrigine, which is a different class of medication altogether, an anti-convulsant that has been approved for treating bipolar 2 depression. I went from staggeringly relentless daily depression that landed me in the hospital after a scary near miss to...absolutely no depression for over a year now. The first time in my life, and I'm 61.

I've had cyclic depression all of my life, which is why I was on the antidepressant to begin with, but was only diagnosed as bipolar when the hospital stay happened. It took a few more months to identify it, but I suffered a rare but documented reaction in bipolar patients where antidepressants can flip people upside down. It's been associated with every symptom I presented with (suicidal depression, extreme rage, eating and sleep disorders, hygiene issues, the list goes on). All of it – ALL OF IT – went away quite quickly as soon as I quit the antidepressant.

I was the one who identified it after stumbling on a study that documented the response, and highlighted Effexor as the one most frequently tied to it. I read it and said to myself, "Oh my God! This is the last several years of my life. Peer-reviewed."

I quit the drug cold turkey, and despite the nasty withdrawal symptoms, within days felt better than I had in years. My psychiatrist was skeptical when I called her, but in one appointment that lasted half an hour changed her mind (she knew about the study but hadn't seen it in a patient previously). I was a completely different person. I told her I would never take another antidepressant as long as I live. She agreed. But I also told her I felt like I'd stripped off my armor and was (understandably I think, especially just a few months after the hospital stay) concerned that deep depression might return. That's when she suggested lamotrigine.

I'm not opposed to antidepressants despite my experience. They absolutely do save lives. But when they go wrong, they go horribly wrong. I am 100% convinced that if I hadn't quit that drug when I did, that I wouldn't be here today. In my case it was getting off of it and onto a different class of medication that saved my life.

My suggestion to anyone who is taking them and getting worse, which is what happened to me, is that they look at the possibility of the antidepressant itself being the cause. Don't abruptly quit like I did, that can be fatal as well. Consult your doctor, and get a second opinion if necessary. I hid it all (except the rage, which couldn't be disguised). I didn't get help until it was nearly too late, and that nearly cost me everything. I don't want another person to go through what I did.