How are you doing shelleyderish? I recall your dear husband passed away last year; at the time you mentioned he had some cardiac issues that originated during his childhood. Chemo can be very difficult on the heart. I have an underlying (congenital) electrically based cardiac arrhythmia and when I was on 2 very strong chemotherapy types, it caused a lot of arrhythmia. Luckily I found an excellent cardiologist who specialized in those electrically based arrhythmias and got a good med to stop it; currently Im on only 1 mild chemo (gemzar) following my radiation treatment and I’ll either go into a clinical trial (it’s 50-50 chance you’ll actually get the target drug (6236) or go back on the abraxane which caused neuropathy since my numbers going up aggressively again. Not a lot of pretty choices there! My dad many years ago died after 8 months after we could see he had something serious after his tremendous weight loss and and 5 months after he was actually diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. The hurting you are going through must be overwhelming. Please find compassionate comfort in family, friends, and some type of faith, and don’t forget this forum where you can always receive understanding and comfort. God bless.

Shelley, I am so sorry for your loss. I too have suffered the loss of my husband, One thing that really helped me was a book "How to go on Living when someone you love dies". Not to read cover to cover but pick and choose the parts that apply to you. I lost the balance of my mind for a couple of years, then slowly began to piece together my new normal. Anti-depressants helped, also taking some classes at the local community college -- ballet, weight lifting, photography. You have been through hell and you have kept going. Best wishes for a good new normal.