My 54-year-old husband died in a plane crash. When the sherrif's department person shows up at my door to tell me, I distinctly heard a crack in my head like the shifting of tectonic plates. It was on the evening news and people started coming to my house. The best support that night came from my sister who hugged me long and hard and then silently stayed right by my side, When I left the room to use the restroom she waited out in the hall for me. Years later I asked her how she knew that was an appropriate thing to do -- her answer was "I didn't know". In the following days so many friends would begin with "I don't know what to say" and then say some wonderful things to me. Friends would tell stories of their experiences with my husband, some quite funny and we laughed and that was most comforting. One close friend said "He's in a better place" and that made me angry.