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Emotional aftermath following breast cancer treatment
Breast Cancer | Last Active: May 14 10:01am | Replies (143)Comment receiving replies
I am 3 years post my second fight with cancer - if including 5 years on Letrozole, otherwise 8 years post cancer. The 1st time that I had cancer I decided to have a double mastectomy without need for chemo or radiation (and I would never need to think about cancer again- haha). I had a recurrence 4 years later and went through a regimen of adriamycin; taxol; herceptin and radiation. After I was on tamoxifen for a short time, they placed me on Letrozole. For me, cognitively and emotionally things have continued to decline. I don't know if my depression derives from my poor cognition or vice versa - which came first the chicken or the egg? LOL. I have tried to forget that I have had cancer, but the toll on my mind and body reminds me everyday if it. I'm going on 62, which I still can't believe; so I often wonder if aging isn't part of the issue as well. And in all honesty, I've always been a bit scattered, but nothing like the last 5 years. I have neuropathy in my hands which makes tasks more difficult to accomplish; and my memory is absolutely horrendous. My supervisor at work is frustrated with me, not that this person sits down to talk with me about it; no, she conveys her frustration to my colleagues. I find myself crying nearly everyday for the past several weeks, which is very unusual for me. I am typically not one to cry. I have to believe there's going to be a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow one of these days. I've always been a person who said that no matter how bad something is you can always find the good in it. I really hope that I'll be able to see the good in my cognitive decline and depression soon. Wishing everyone the best and if anyone has advice, please feel free to share. 🙂
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You are not alone❣️ I have had dozens of conversations with breast cancer survivors that have all of the elements of “ah geez” and although our journeys are all different, our reasons for frustration are uncannily similar.
Too much cancer treatment, in my case young when starting, all causing a lot of collateral damage after the fact. I still get a little irritated when I remember my doctor telling me “you will have roughly a year of treatment, then your life will be able to return to normal”. Yeah, and God laughed when I told him my plans.
I am just a few years younger than you, but I am guessing I started a little younger. Too much chemo, and a fair bit of radiation. Multiple surgeries, multiple endocrine therapies.
Every single day, my silver lining is that I am spending the day enjoying this life with my husband whom I cherish beyond moon and back. I get to go to the barn and play with or brush my horses and remember to just breathe and live in this moment.
I might get to have lunch with a friend on the weekend who won’t judge if I can’t remember something or if I get lost in the middle of a sentence.
I can’t tell you what to do, but I had to get some better living with chemistry to get my mind heading in the right direction emotionally. I also had to remind myself why I have opted in for these treatments every single time, and then be grateful I still have those things in my life.
After all the treatments, are you cancer free now? What are the reasons you opted in to all this chemo?