rhongirl, I think you just described me to a tee! The emotions roller coaster is something to deal with for sure. I just put a call in to a counselor. I finally decided that after experiencing a panic attack, had episodes of crying, am irritable and in the middle of grief after losing several close family members and friends and tired all of the time. All 2024 I had my mastectomy , chemo, then covid and the losses. I am a widow so no hug when I really need one. I organized a talk about cancer for the active retirement community where I live. About 75 people came. I had a panel of myself and two others, one a male with prostate cancer. I mentioned looking healthy with hair and all, but not being "over it" at all. I think that even those who went through this 30 years ago have forgotten or never experienced the drug induced body and emotional challenges that we do now. I sense that some of my friends are tired of listening to me, but I need to talk. I recently had a visit with a new surgeon regarding another issue. When she told me of her plans for me and listed 1 through3 steps, I started to cry. I said I had been through such a rough year and can't think about more problems and issues. She immediately said, "You need to talk to someone and stop burying these emotions". Another reason I called the counselor. I can't take antidepressants. I know I have things to be grateful for, and I am. I miss feeling normal though. A few days ago I sat down and wrote out all of the things I experienced over the last 16 months. When I saw it all down on paper, I thought no wonder I am struggling. PTSD is used frequently these days when not really the case. However, I suspect that some of us do fit the mold for that diagnosis or nearly so anyway. I appreciate everyone on this site and that you share your own thoughts and feelings. It honestly does help to know that I am not the only one experiencing problems. Another stressor for me is the problem finding a bra and prosthesis that I can stand to wear all day. I really almost wish I had just had the other side removed also and just go flat with tshirts. I have gone for fittings 3 times and nothing works. They all ride up and rub under the sensitive area under the arm. Any ideas?
We can all hang together and get through each step of this journey, not feeling alone.