Quite wrongly, many people freely associate the word "cancer" as an automatic death sentence and it's a hurdle to get them over that. When I told my 28 year old daughter about my prostate cancer over the phone, since she's cross country from me, she started sobbing so badly that the conversation didn't last long. I then had to continue sending emails with data links and explanations to persuade her that it isn't a death sentence for me.

But based on that experience, I waited to tell my son, also cross country, until he was home for the holidays. He could then directly witness my well being and confidence and could absorb the information more easily and share in my confidence. And my daughter did the same when she also came home for the holidays and could see me in person looking healthy and happy.

I find the same thing with close friends. Those who can witness me in person feeling confident about my treatment team and my prognosis do so much better than those who only get the news by phone, although that too can work but it takes more effort on the part of both parties.